On January 31, 1997, we welcomed a precious baby girl into our family – Kellie Ann. We were thrilled to have a daughter in addition to our son and I loved being a mom.
One of my struggles in life has been fear – especially fear of sickness and death. As a mom, my biggest fear was facing a life-threatening illness or accident with one of my kids. When Kellie was eleven years old we were at a routine visit to her pediatrician when he found a nodule on her thyroid. After a series of tests, an endocrinologist informed us – in front of Kellie – that due to the size of the nodule and her age – the risk for cancer was high and surgery was needed.
The dreaded “C” word. Cancer. What? My daughter?
In the weeks prior to the surgery, we had such peace especially as we heard many reports of benign thyroid nodules. After all, Kellie was a beautiful, precocious and healthy 11-year-old. Our faith was high and many surrounded us in prayer.
I picked her up from camp the afternoon before her surgery without any looming fear, but nothing prepared my husband or me for the 6-hour surgery on July 3rd, 2008. What we thought would be 2 hours turned into several hours, and our minds couldn’t help but go to all of the potential hazards of the surgery.
Was it cancer? Was a nerve severed? Were her vocal cords damaged? Would she need a tracheotomy?
After several hours, Kellie’s surgeon didn’t come out to tell us all was okay but sent a nurse to inform us he wanted to meet with us in a back room.
The walk to that room was the longest walk of our lives.
When Danny and I sat down the surgeon said, “It was cancer and I had to do a total thyroidectomy. I took some surrounding lymph nodes that are being tested to see if cancer has spread. You can go see your daughter in recovery.” (We weren’t paying him for his bedside manner!) Although those words were difficult to hear, we were thrilled that the surgery was successful with no complications!
We quickly decided not to tell Kellie about the cancer until she was home and settled, but the first words out of her mouth were, “Was it cancer?” We couldn’t lie, and she was devastated. “Why? We prayed it wouldn’t be!” Those are tough questions to work through with anybody, but especially with a child.
When we later found out cancer had spread to some lymph nodes, we felt blessed with the opportunity to get Kellie into a specialist at Boston Children’s Hospital. Of course, we saw many children there with far worse situations, but our daughter still had to walk her diagnosis out and questions still loomed in our minds.
I can honestly say The Lord has provided for Kellie every step of the way. It has not been easy. It has not been convenient. It has not been pleasant. She missed out on quite a bit for several summers when total body scans were needed, treatments were given, medicine was stopped and a very restricted diet was adhered to. Each time though, Kellie made it through and grew deeper in her walk with The Lord.
A passage of Scripture that kept coming to me was from I Peter 1:6-7:
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”
A year after surgery, The Lord spoke very clearly and powerfully to Kellie’s heart while at summer camp. She sensed very strongly He had touched her and she wasn’t to worry anymore about Thyroid Cancer resurfacing. Tears streamed down her face as she relayed this to us on the drive home from Shepherds Fold Ranch.
The following summer we were in Boston for the typical medical routine. Kellie was counting the days to get back to a normal groove of eating and taking her medicine. Because she has no thyroid, being off of her medicine for almost 3 weeks is very taxing on her body. We were not prepared when her doctor called in 3 additional doctors to observe her scan and then re-scan several areas. A few concerning spots were found. It was decided to keep her on the special diet and off of the medication for a few more days – not to mention the decision to endure a second treatment.
What? The Lord had clearly spoken that she was not to worry about cancer returning. Disappointment and questions began flooding her heart and ours.
I had been reading earlier that week in Luke 1:45:
“Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!”
This Scripture flooded back to my mind as I began to encourage Kellie. She had heard from the Lord the year before at camp and He would accomplish what He had spoken to her. She was to trust the Lord was working, regardless of her current situation.
On the way back to my parent’s house from the hospital, Kellie was in the back seat in tears. Her teenage friends were vacationing and attending church camp, and she was scheduled to endure another treatment. Reality had to be faced, but our focus needed to shift from the natural to the supernatural. Our hope had to be in the Lord and in His power to accomplish what He had spoken.
Our daughter amazed us that week. Kellie made a shift in her focus. She WALKED THROUGH with faith in her Lord to do what He said He would do. It was – and still is – a process of walking it out, not of everything hard and difficult being instantly removed.
I have to trust the Lord has been working something beautiful in my daughter through this process of Thyroid Cancer. Strength and beauty have become the fruit of the difficult places in Kellie’s life and in mine.
Although I faced one of my biggest fears, I was able to walk through with unbelievable peace because Immanuel, God with us, was with us!
Cancer did not – and will not – have the final word in Kellie’s ongoing story. She now faces her appointments with amazing bravery and a focus on the Lord’s promises to her. She confronts her questions with a peace that can only come from knowing the Lord is with her every step of the way. Kellie has gone through some testing and now has a testimony, a story to tell of the faithfulness of her Lord and Savior through the mountains and valleys of life.
Kellie Ann was rightly named. We had no idea what the meaning of her name was when we chose it, but now we know we were declaring who she was created to be. Kellie means “brave, warrior woman” and Ann means “favor”. She can be brave because of the favor of the Lord upon her life!
In the first chapter of Luke, we see that Mary chose to believe the angel’s words to her: she was favored of the Lord, He was with her, she was not to fear, and she would be with child for “nothing is impossible with God”.
Whatever you are facing – you too are favored. The Lord is also with you. You are not to fear. Your situation is not impossible WITH God.
“You Make Me Brave”, by Bethel Music, is one of our favorite songs:
“You make me brave, You call me out beyond the shore into the waves, You make me brave, no fear can hinder now the promises You made”.
Don’t allow fear to hinder you. Dare to take the Lord at His word. Dare to believe that He will accomplish what He has spoken. Dare to be brave!
